When was the last time you had a real conversation?

Take a moment to think about it.

A conversation where you felt as if you were involved; a meaningful conversation. One where you have been so immersed time was non-existent, fluid even.

There was a period when humanity had more time on hand, where individuals had moments where they had nothing to do but wait, as they crossed continents by steam-boat or countries by trains. Contrast this to the modern era where we have become consumed by optimising our lives to the absolute hilt in the pursuit of freeing up more ‘time’, for some of the more meaningful aspects, the deep conversations we yearn for.

Yet when we hop on a train or board a plane in the modern age a silence descends.

Pindrop, silence.

It would seem that most people believe by refusing to engage with others we increase our chances of building better personal, professional and social relationships. Our craving for profound conversations appears to vanish.

We take the fleeting verbal interaction with others for granted, but a conversation is much more significant than it looks on the surface. A conversation is woven into the fabric of our DNA, its value is far more meaningful than simply typing what we can say out loud, through a conversation we are able to express pure, raw emotion. Our voices carry years of experience, of pain and joy, of laughter and sadness.

These syllables, which are transformed into words strung together to create sentences, allow us to converse with one another, the backbone of what helps our world remain upright. It’s a form of expression, one through which, when gazing upon the chaos and violence erupting across the earth in the last year, we are able to connect with one another to bring about a level of reconciliation and understanding.

However a conversation is a two-way street, to talk and to listen. But, to truly listen, to be immersed wholly in what another person is saying requires a clear, focused mind. An overlooked skill of our time. Otherwise, all a conversation amounts to is two people shouting barely related sentences in the same place at each other, and who wants that?

“Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand most of us listen with the intent to reply” - Stephen Covey.

To have an immersive conversation, one must lose themself in others. To be more interested than interesting. Because, in reality, the only person that really cares and wants to listen is ourselves. By practising this philosophy we are able to immerse ourselves in the thoughts of another, strive to understand their outlook on certain topics and be blown away by their experiences.

Be prepared to be amazed but by no means expect amazement, then and only then will you understand the power of a conversation.

Do you feel, you’ve lost the art of conversation? Let me know in the comments or drop me a message on any of the following social networks. I would love to hear from you! — Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, TikTok, Youtube.